Sidelined

My new mantra, for sure.  Lately though, this seems to be more and more difficult to achieve.  For the last month, I have been sidelined from my workouts with a slew of injuries...a torn meniscus, IT Band tendinitis, and a fun little thing called Patella Femoral Syndrome, which I have had forever and is the reason for my Lateral Release surgery in both knees when I was just 15 years old.  Ever since then, I have babied my knees and in doing that, some of the muscles in my legs are not as built as they should be.

As y'all probably know, in the last year I have really stepped up my workouts.  I get to a good point, and then plateau, so push myself even harder.  All this has resulted in good weight loss numbers, but unfortunately, I was slowly tearing up my body while doing so.  So when the pain was starting to get unbearable, I finally went to the doctor.  Enough was enough, and I sidelined myself for the past month in order to focus on healing so I can get back to training.  I stopped my workouts with Tony, stopped all my cardio, stopped pretty much everything except walking and PT.

Well, last week, I was feeling great.  Even though I have about 15 pounds to go, I have maintained my current weight for over a month now, which I am really happy about.  My PT was going great, and my knees were feeling great--no pain and much more stability.  So I started to pick up the pace a bit more--a few days on the elliptical (everything still felt good) and then I decide to go for a run.

What the hell was I thinking?

Now, on top of all my other issues, I've developed Trochanteric Bursitis in my left hip.  And let me tell you, it flipping hurts.  It hurts to walk, to sit, to stand, to sleep.  Even with icing it and resting it and taking prescription strength ibuprofen three times daily, it hurts.  Ugh, back to square one.

So what have I learned from all this?  For starters, I need to stop pushing to the point of hurting myself.  In my head, I feel so inferior--I should be able to run a mile without seriously injuring myself.  But my body is just going to take a long time to heal.  After all, it took years of abuse to get to this point, so why shouldn't take years to get it healthy and back to normal.  But it wasn't even "normal" to begin with--even as an elite athlete, I had major problems, so I need to keep that in perspective.

Also, as my mom said, I need to go "back home"--to the pool.  There is this internal struggle with me to do it...very emotional and humbling...but I know that it is the right move for me.  I just need to push past it.

Finally, I need to learn to stop being so hard on myself all the time--both mentally and physically.  I've come a long way in the past few years, and even though I still have a bit to go, I need to remember that when I'm too hard on myself, things start to break down.  I suppose this is all just part of the healing process, but boy is it frustrating.  But for now, I need to calm down, take a deep breathe, and focus on what's important--getting my body whole again.  The weight can come off later.  For now, I need to heal.